SHOWING UP FOR GRACE
Tuesday June 9th was a really rough day. Sebastian, Jen and I were having a water fight in the backyard and I just knew how much Annalise would’ve loved it. It was another one of those moments when we’re having a great time, but I couldn’t help feeling the pain of missing her and the thought of her missing out on this moment. I really couldn’t hold it together for most of the afternoon. I sat on our back deck and just let it out. After a while, Jen and I got to talking about going to visit Annalise’s cousin, Grace – she was graduating high school the next day and we were invited over to Jen’s sister’s house, to say congrats and take pictures with the graduate in her cap and gown.
Grace and Annalise have a very special bond.
Annalise, Grace and Grace’s BFF Sammie.
Grace is an amazing artist.
in the fall she’ll be attending Tyler School of Art at temple university.
We are all very proud of her.
And just look at this mural that Grace created for Annalise’s room. Pandastic!
It would mean a lot to Annalise if we went to say congrats to her big cousin.
No doubt, Annalise would’ve been all about making signs and cards and just being super excited for Grace. We really felt that we should go, even though we knew it would be very painful. Graduation time will always feel like this, I think. From the time Annalise was in Kindergarten, we had dreamed of watching her receive her diploma as part of the Class of 2028.
Jen and I both knew that going to a graduation party, even one that had required social distancing, was going to bring up some tough emotions. Without committing to go or devising a plan for the next day, we both took a break from the conversation. Jen started dinner and I went to Annalise’s bedroom to meditate for 30 minutes. It was a good session. Time flew by. And when I was done, I felt much better. Calmer. I sat there a few more minutes, remembering the last time I laid there with her. I told her about the water fight and how much I wish she was on my team. And I asked her to say “hi” to me. I ask her to say “hi” every day.
As I was leaving her room, I happened to glance over at a locker/bank that Annalise had gotten a couple of years ago.
She loved this thing. Mainly, because it had a built-in combination lock with an electronic keypad that allowed her to choose a secret combo. She never let me know the combination and I respected that, and her privacy very much. However, I’ve grown curious lately, and on several occasions over the past couple weeks, I tried to open it. But I never got the combo right. It’s funny, the locker has this quirky girly voice that says “Uh-oh!” whenever you enter the wrong code. On this day, as I glanced over, almost without thinking, I picked it up and tried a combo I’d never tried before. To my surprise, it opened – complete with magical princess sounding music. Inside, I found a single coin, along with a random part to a Barbie playset. That was it.
